Emma's birth

A pregnancy after a miscarriage is challenging. I loved being healthy and pregnant but I also wanted it over as quickly as possible. I wanted to hold my baby in my arms and know she’s here safe. So I really rushed through this pregnancy by keeping very busy and out and about daily with the kids just to pass time. I was never scared to bond with this baby and felt an amazing connection with her since even before conception.

From before her conception we felt baby would be a girl and at 11 weeks the sonar confirmed it, we were super excited !!!  At 16 weeks I was told I have partial placenta previa, which means a part of my placenta was covering my cervix. I visualized that the placenta would move away and did some positive confessions that it will move together with lots of prayers, and by 36 weeks it was not covering the placenta anymore, praise God !! With a low laying placenta I was preparing for more than usual blood loss during birth, by making an herbal mix to add to the water as soon as baby was born.

Besides for a few 4D sonars I never saw a Dr during my pregnancy and was planning an unassisted homebirth as with my previous 3 births. I had a very good and easy pregnancy and felt confident to have my baby at home.

Early in my pregnancy I wrote out a birth plan, something I recommend doing in the first trimester, cause by the last few weeks you don’t care how they come out you just want them out. I imagined my birth at night before I fell asleep and amazingly it unfolded very close to the plan. I also made a poster with pictures and notes of how I wanted my birth space to look like.

So by 40 weeks my living room was transformed into my very festive birthing space with bunting, lanterns and candles. Powerful words like; open, breath, enjoy, faith, trust, love and relax were stuck on wall together with birth photos of my 3 previous births. Emma’s first outfit together with scale, scissor and floss to tie the cord and suction bulb was set aside.  There was enough wood for the fire. The video and camera was in place. And the birthing bath was blown up and ready. The day before the birth we baked a cake for Emma’s birth day !!

Two weeks before Emma’s birth I was very uncomfortable and thought her birth could start any day. But she waited till 40 weeks and 4 days before she was ready to make her entrance. Monday morning, 13 Julie, 2 am my water broke. I rushed to the loo. I was thrilled that things were finally starting to happen, and happy to know I would probably hold my little Emma in my arms sometime that day.  I got back into bed hoping to get some more sleep. I started having light irregular contractions. Around 4am I decided to get up and woke JP. We went to the living room and made a nice fire. JP brought the birthing bath into the living room. I felt a bit anxious and decided to fill the bath just incase … I put the slow cooker on as I use the hot water, infused with Clary Sage,  for pain relief. I just dip a big cloth nappy in the hot water and put on my back or tummy.

I really thought Emma would be born before lunch time, but yeah, she was taking things slow. By 9am all the contractions stopped and I felt fine. By 10am I was bored. JP and I wanted to go out for breakfast, but the kids just didn’t want to leave the house. I had to bribe them with ice cream at Papachinos to get them to go out. So we went to Papachinos for ice cream and breakfast. It was fun, and we loved spending the time together as a family awaiting Emma’s birth that day. I was a bit uncomfortable with a lot of pressure on my cervix but no contractions. After lunch time we went home.

 I gave the kids their special gift boxes filled with arty crafty stuff and some toys that we’ve been collecting for Emma’s birth day. They got busy with all the goodies. I made a light lunch and faffed around the house. During the afternoon light contractions started to build up again. I was very pleased.

At 4pm we filled the bath with hot water again, and we all got in for fun. It was a beautiful sunny, but cold winter afternoon.

Just after 5pm Ruby got a bit difficult, I think she was a bit overwhelmed by all the excitement and JP made her tea and put her down to sleep. I was putting the Clary Sage cloth on my tummy with most of the contractions. They started getting very uncomfortable but still manageable. I was really just enjoying it all. Lily and Lexi were super good, entertaining themselves.

At 5:30 we topped up the bath with hot water, as I needed to get in cause by now I struggled through the contractions.

I got into the birthing bath at 6pm. I was surprised at the intensity of the contractions; I had to really focus on getting through them now. But when a contraction was over I was totally pain free and relaxed talking to the kids.

From 6:30 to 7:00 was just the most insane pain ever, I couldn’t belief it was this sore. Contractions right on top of each other and pain in my tummy as well as back and for a first time in my hips. It felt like my hips were on fire.  I moaned and groaned through each contraction. I loved some of the yearning I made during the last few contractions, it was  beautiful, the same sounds that got her in me …It is of my opinion that babies are born peacefully and “easy” when its in a similar atmosphere that babies are generally created in. In a atmosphere of love, safety, support and privacy; soft light, warmth and gentle sounds if any; using similar body movements, vocal expressions and visualization … the same acts of LOVE ! It was so intense, more than any of my other births.  The process took me right into the primal part of my being where I found the strength to get through it. I was created to be able to give birth and I just trusted my body to do it. And I just did it. I got really loud during the last few contractions. This quote sums up how I feel regarding the pain of birth :

There is a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.” ~ Laura Stavoe Harm

With the previous 3 births I always got to a stage right before the actual birth part where I felt the contractions almost stopped and I got an uncontrollable urge to push. This time I was still having full on contractions but felt her head in the birthing canal and I decided to push ready or not. I was just not prepared to wait any longer. I couldn’t bare another contraction, and I guess I was about 10 or so contractions away from being 100% ready to push her out. It wasn’t really a big deal, it just meant I had to really put in some forced effort to push her out, instead of my body doing all the work if you wait till the urge to push. I really recommend waiting till that feeling of wanting to push more than anything else, but yeah, that was a decision I made on the spot. I have an idea I was maybe not fully dilated so it took some force getting a 3.8kg out, and I think I bruised my cervix a bit. 

Unlike the previous 3 births Emma took a bit longer to come out where the other 3 were out seconds after the head was out.

When Emma’s head was out I told the girls to look as she would be here soon. They couldn’t see the head so Lily got a touch to shine some light on the subject. I was squatting. Oh and she was thrilled to see the head. A few minutes later the body came out and I  held her on my chest.

I was soooooooooo relieved to have her in my arms and out my body. I was a bit bewildered and surprised from the last half hour’s pain. Until I looked at the video I was under the impression that half an hour was a few hours.

Emma was covered in vernix and super slippery. She looked pale covered in this luxurious heavenly body lotion. Not only is vernix  a great moisturizer, it also contains anti-infective properties. Vernix has immunological benefits that help protect a newborn baby from infection, and its moisturizing properties help keep their delicate skin from being dry and flaky. For this reason I delay bathing my babies allowing vernix to be absorbed into the skin. There is another little known fact about vernix. It has a distinctive smell, different and unique with each baby. It’s the sweetest smell in the world, totally addictive !

I was having very painful after pains until the placenta was birthed. But I still had pains for a few days after the birth. About an hour after the birth the cord was white and not pulsing at all which means Emma got all of her remaining 40-50%  blood supply that babies only get once they are born because they don’t need it inside. A crucial amount of blood filled with antibodies and iron supply. This process can take at least 20 minutes and the cord needs to stay in tact to transport this blood to the baby. We cut the cord and JP took Emma and went to sit on couch with Lily and Lexi admiring their new sister. He also weighed her in my owl scarf; she was 3.8kg to my surprise.  I birthed the placenta and showed it to the girls with a lesson on the function of this amazing temporary organ. I got out the birthing bath and got dressed in cozy PJ’s. I took my beautiful little angel and snuggled with her on the couch.

She cried a lot after birth, she struggled to latch and with my history of a breast reduction I gave her a bottle. She was so happy to get some food and devoured it. This little munchkin came out starving and was very happy after a good feed.

At this stage Ruby woke up and came to meet her sister. We were all tired but so happy our Emma was here. JP took the girls to bed in our family bedroom, and I went to sleep with Emma in the baby room.

The next morning we woke up excited and sang happy birth day to Emma as we were just too tired to do it after her birth. And we all had cake and tea for breakfast from her yummy bday cake.

As with all my births this was such an empowering experience. There are no words on earth to express what happens to a woman when life is born through her. It is the most super natural experiences of my life. I absolutely love giving birth.

Ruby's birth story

Lily was 19 months and Lexi 7 months old when we decided our little nest was not yet complete
and we wanted another baby. We were very blessed and the 1st month we tried to conceive we
fell pregnant. We were thrilled.
As with my other two girls I never went to see a doctor throughout the pregnancy, and just
followed my gut. I had a very healthy pregnancy again. I think I had high blood pressure at the
end, but I spoke to my body and told her to get back in balance. I also drank more water and cut
out sugar and within a few days I felt fine again.
I did go for some 4D scans mainly to see if our baby would be a boy or girl. IT WAS A GIRL !!
Just what we wanted, we were so happy. We decided on Ruby Dawn for her name.
Having two toddlers doesn’t leave you with a lot of spare time to focus and connect with the
baby still inside, so seeing her during the sonar’s really helped me connect. That was the only
time me and Ruby did something special together.

I had a very easy pregnancy and the months just flew by. The two little ones made it a bit
exhausting at times, but we all enjoyed my tummy and looked forward to meeting Ruby.
The last two weeks were really hard. I think I was in early labor those two weeks. I was
exhausted beyond words and had constant Braxton hicks contractions. Every day I thought this
would be “the day” as I did not think I could go on for one more day. I so hoped she would came
a little bit earlier, but she waited till one day past 40 weeks.
In the early hours of the morning of the 31st I dreamt I had a blood show. At 10H00 that morning
I had a bloody discharge. My cervix was opening. I was so happy and knew this would be the
day. Just after that a friend of mine phoned, same lady who does the 4D sonar’s, to say she got
Biblical confirmation that Ruby would be born today.
We made Ruby’s birthday cake. Popcorn, pretzels and M&M’s in melted marshmallows

 At 12H00 I took Lexi for a walk in the pram, and started getting very mild contractions. I phone
JP and said he should maybe come home from work. He arrived home just before 14H00.
When he got home my nerves settled and I could relax. I still needed a few things for the birth
so we went to the pharmacy to buy it.
At around 16H00 we went for a walk with Lily and Lexi, photo below. I was a little
uncomfortable, with mild contractions, but nothing painful.



When we got home we gave the girls dinner and bathed them. I started decorating the living
room wall with butterflies put out all her candles. I got background music sorted. I was very
relaxed and just happy to know Ruby would be here soon.
At 18H00 my water broke. We brought the birthing bath into the living room and started filling it.
I lit the candles and put Norah Jones on. Lily just loves her music and so do I.

My contractions started getting more intense and I was getting more uncomfortable. I got in the
water as soon as the bath was full. Lily joined me and we played for a bit.
Just after 19H00 JP started pouring water over my lower back. It’s so amazing how much that
helps for the pain. Lily was faffing around enjoying the excitement. Every time I had a
contraction, she would tell me she’s right here with me, and would stroke my head. She was so
sweet for a two and a half year old.
Just after 20H00 it got REAL painful and VERY intense. Contractions were just on top of each
other. For about 25 minutes I groaned through each contraction, gripping the sides of the bath
with pain. It was more painful than I anticipated.
I got the urge to push, so I stood on my knees. I pushed for about 5 minutes and Ruby was born
at 20H30. She came out beautifully, and real easy. I lifted her out of the water, and embraced
her. She was just soooooooooooo beautiful to me. Lily was totally AMAZED to see her little
sister. I don’t think she really understood, until that moment, that she was getting a little sister.
She just wanted to hold her. Her first words was “give her to me” and straight after that “come
eat your cake Ruby” !!!! It was so amazing to see Lily’s overwhelming joy. She got in the birthing
bath with me, and loved Ruby.





We sat in the warm water for about 40 minutes and I birthed the placenta. It was not all in one
piece. I think due to calcification it broke into pieces as it came loose. (Small parts came out just
before Ruby was born and more small pieces a few days after the birth. But within a week all
was out, and within 2 weeks all bleeding stopped completely)
JP put the placenta in a bucket; it was still attached to Ruby. We wrapped Ruby and put her on
the couch. JP tied the umbilical cord with dental floss and cut it. It was white and there was no
more blood being transferred to baby at this stage. With all our births we waited until the
placenta and cord finished their job before cutting it. We are VERY passionate about this part of
the birth process and think it’s crucial for baby’s well-being to do it right.
Interesting fact: Babies are born with only 50-60% of their blood supply, cause they don’t need
100% being inside mom. When they are born the cord transfer the 40-50 % blood they still
need. This takes at least 20 minutes in my experience. Without this blood a baby lacks iron and
it can take years to replenish the lack of iron. A lack of oxygen to the brain is also a great
concern. So we waited until Ruby had her full supply of blood, iron antibodies and oxygen
before cutting the cord. This is the main reason I avoid the medical system that cut the cord
immediately after birth.
I sat on the couch with her and she was eager to breastfeed. She fed for a good hour, and then
passed out from all the excitement.
I took her to the bathroom where the heater was on and it was cozy with dim light. We cleaned
her bum, as she passed lots of meconium (the stuff your baby collected in her intestines
while in uterus). We dressed her in her fluffy pink outfit. I put her in my bed, I had a snack and
a cup of tea and fell asleep with my little angle next to me.
I really enjoyed this birth. I loved the fact that Lily was part of it. Even though it was a very
painful labor it was just exhilarating pushing her out !!!! It stimulates a primal part of my being
when giving birth and holding that little new person next to my heart the second she’s born.
When they are that “fresh” it’s as if they are still covered in heaven. Maybe for this reason I don’t
bath them for a week. I love to smell and touch that heavenly aroma and squishy skin for as
long as possible. Like I said with my other births, I love to give birth. The pain, blood and guts
are part of the glory of holding that new baby. It’s all one process for me. The pain makes the
joy so intense. I would not avoid any part of it.
This was my last birth. Our little nest is full. And my child bearing career is over. I will cherish my
four births as my highest most worthy achievements in life. I will have a very unique bond and
connection with each of my children that started with the birth I had with each one. Every birth
was different, marking a different road I’ll walk with each child.
Ruby Dawn Viljoen
Born 31 January 2012, 20H30
3.4 kg / 49 cm

Photos of our first week ☺

Lexi's birth storie

 

I fell pregnant with Lexi when Lily was 3 months old. It was planned, believe it or not. Am I crazy … no … we just wanted another little bundle of joy. The months just flew by. It was quite difficult being pregnant with a baby on the hip, especially the last month. But in general I had a very healthy pregnancy. I did this pregnancy without seeing any doctor or doing any tests. I did go for a sonar at16 weeks to determine if we had a boy or a girl. It was a girl to our hearts content. We were truly thrilled beyond words!!

My due date was 28 September 2010. JP had to work in Cape Town from 20 – 26 Sep. I wasn’t really concerned as both my previous pregnancies went two weeks past the due date. But during this last week, I just knew it would be a miracle if JP was back in time for Lexi’s birth. I had all the pre labor symptoms that week; moody, lower back pain, flu like symptoms, headaches, extreme tiredness, diarrhea and constant urination. The whole week I spoke to Lexi and asked her please to stay put and wait for daddy to get back. I planned another unassisted homebirth with only JP to help, and I really didn’t want to do it alone.  Besides that and more important JP wanted to be there to meet his daughter when she arrived.

The morning of the 26^th as JP got on the plain, a 2 hour flight, I told Lexi it was ok if she wanted to come now, and that she could start to prepare if it’s her time to come. I was bored at home and waiting for JP drove me nuts. So I decided to go do grocery shopping for the following month’s supplies as I knew it would be difficult with a new born. So off Anna and I went with Lily to the supermarket. I was pushing a FULL trolley of stuff and by the time we got to the till I was dead tired. In the queue I started getting lower abdominal pain. Not really thinking much of it. I was surprised as it would came and go. With both my previous pregnancies I had back labor and all the pain was only in my back and never any pain near my tummy so I really didn’t think this could be contractions. It was also not consistent at all. I just wanted to get home and rest. We got home after lunch and I took a nap. I was up again preparing food for Lily and feeding her. I couldn’t really carry her as that caused more pain in my tummy. Problem is Lily can’t walk yet, so I just had to carry her at times. A few times I had to put her down just where I was, as the pain was just so bad. When it passed I could pick her up again and carry on. I played with her in the garden until JP arrived home around 16H00.  It felt like a mountain was lifted from my shoulders with him being home, I just completely relaxed. And with that the pains got more. By now I started to wonder if this wasn’t maybe contractions. It just didn’t make sense to me as it was so inconsistent and not in my back where it should be, and it was completely bearable. It actually felt like menstrual cramps. I thought my uterus was just preparing for labor in the near future. We put Lily to bed around 19H00 and watched one episode of House. We then put the birthing bath in our room. All the other baby stuff was already ready for a couple of days. Around 21H00 I was really tired and decided to go to bed with a hot bean bag on my tummy. Because my water didn’t break like it did when Lily’s labor started, I was not expecting labor for a while. Breaking water would be my sign that it started, and since it didn’t yet, I was very relaxed and patient. I dozed off a bit, but the tummy pain was too uncomfortable to allow deep sleep, and I had to wee every 15 minutes. Really!!!

At 11H00 my water broke as I was lying in bed. Not a gush, just a trickle. I went to the loo, not sure if this was a very long wee, or really my water that broke. But I recognized the smell from when Lily’s water broke, quite a unique smell to it. Not bad at all, just different. I got off the loo, and put a towel between my legs, which I walked around with. JP started filling the bath, it took about 40 minutes. While he was filling the bath, I lit my blessing way candles and got the birthing necklace. 

I put a plastic sheet on the floor next to the bath, and covered with an old sheet. I put the music on and got something to drink from the kitchen. All the while I was having the same menstrual cramps, but now realizing it’s actually contractions. They were a lot more intense now, but very manageable. At 23H50 I took some photos of the room and all the pretty candles. But I now needed to get in the water for some pain relief. At about 24H00 I got in the bath. 

 

All of a sudden I had the contractions on top of each other, with almost no breaks in between. But I was still able to change settings on the camera, and tell JP what to do if Lily wakes up later. I never went into “labor land” like I did with Lily. I was very alert and aware of everything around me all the time. The pain moved a little bit to my back and JP poured water on my back, which helped a lot. At about 24H30 I got a little bit overwhelmed and fearful, thinking if this is the beginning of labor I don’t know how I’m gonna get though the rest. I know realize I was moving through transition.  At about 24H45 I started to make involuntary grunts and groans, with my face in a towel, not wanting to wake Lily. I then felt Lexi move down and knew she was on her way out. I told JP to get the camera ready, which he did just in time as she crowned. Her head came out easy as pie, and I could feel she was anterior. Her little head turned a bit to the side and her body just slid out, no effort what so ever. The cord was around her neck twice, which I loosened and she began to cry spontaneously on her own.

 She was so tiny I couldn’t get a good grip on her. She was VERY blue in the face. And for the next day or so she had blue under her face skin, and a swollen face. I guess it’s from the pressure caused by the cord. But she was fine, and looked just beautiful and normal within a day.

As I held her still sitting in the bath I told JP I couldn’t believe how easy it was. I was shocked. I thought labor was still going to continue through the night at least.  I sat in the bath for anther 40 min with Lexi in my arms, just admiring her beauty and just loving her.

 

 I never got any more contractions to expel the placenta which surprised me, so I decided to give a light push.  The placenta just slithered out with ease. I grabbed it and put it in a bucket. JP took Lexi and the bucket with the placenta still attached to Lexi.

 By now it had stopped pulsating and there was nothing more transferred to Lexi, so JP clamped the cord and cut it. I got dressed and also dressed Lexi, who was still just rapped in towels. JP drained the birthing bath and we freshened up the room, and got into bed for a quick snooze before Lily woke up at 06H00. At 07H00 I was in the kitchen with Lily on my hip making her some oats for breakfast and phoning my aunt to wish her a happy birthday that she now shared with Lexi.

For Lily’s birth I hoped and prayed and trusted and prepared for an easy, quick and pain free birth, but got the exact opposite. For Lexi I was prepared for whatever happens even if it involved a long painful delivery. I was so surprised, but overjoyed to again have the opposite with Lexi’s birth.  It was in these two different births that I realized that pregnancy and birth is the baby’s choice for making an entrance into the world, and I was happy to allow them both to make their own statement as their first “mission” in the world. I feel their births have set the stage for a life to come. Lily being my little drama queen, and Lexi my little helper (as her name also says).  

As a woman, giving birth was the most satisfying thing I was ever part of. And doing it at home allowed us to do it as a team, in our own way. Lexi and I could just allow nature to take its course and enjoy the ride. I am so proud of us, and know this is the beginning of an awesome mother-daughter relationship.

 

   

Lexi Nica Viljoen

Born:

27 September 2010

01H03

Weight:

2.8 kg

Length:

49cm

Lily's birth story - 2 weeks overdue

When we got married we decided not to have kids. I had a son from a previous relationship, and he was enough for us. We were a happy family of three, Justin was 6 when we got married, and at such an easy manageable age. We felt a baby would just be a nuisance. We were married just under 10 years when we felt a tug on our heart’s to have a baby. In 2008 Lily picked us to be her family, and convinced us. In October I just knew it would be a girl, and the name Lily just fell out of heaven into our hearts. I bought a little pink and green dress for our Lily before she was even conceived and hanged it on the fridge door.

  

I went of contraceptive in October, and conceived beginning of December. We found out we were pregnant 23 December.

I went for four 3D scans during the course of my pregnancy.

I did not see a Gynecologist ever. Obviously I took good care of myself, by getting good rest and some exercise. I took all the necessary vitamin supplements necessary from a food state source.

I did however get some morning sickness up to about 16 weeks, which was really horrible!!

During my pregnancy I decided to have an Unassisted Birth (more info www.unassistedchildbirth.com ), which means there is no medical professional present during the birth, just me and hubby. I then also decided to have a water birth using a Birthing bath as part of the labor process. 

I was ridiculed by most people about the choice of having an unassisted birth and had to fight my way through very mean and hurtful comments. I had very little support, but the handful of people that did support my choice was awesome. I thank God for sending them across my lonely walk, having chosen this “dark” birthing method.

After a smooth pregnancy I calculated my due date to be 31 August 2009. This was very close to accurate as I knew I ovulated 7 December 2008. I did not think I would even go that far. As I’m older and had a child before, it was likely for me to maybe go into labor from 38 weeks or so. I hoped for that every day from 38 weeks. But 38 weeks came and went, same with 39 weeks. When 31 August was upon us, I thought cool, maybe she will come 1 September, which would be a awesome date as her name was Lily, and 1 September being Spring day in South Africa. But that didn’t happen either. I was quite disappointed.  When we passed 41 weeks I was shocked with unbelief. We got to my birthday 7 September and I hoped she wouldn’t have to share her mom’s birthday !! One thing that went according to my hopes – she did not come 7 Sep. Then I got real exited about her maybe being born 09-09-09. I never thought I would still be pregnant by then, so at first I didn’t even dream of getting to such a cool date. The day before the 9^th I had pineapple, nipple stimulation, sex, spicy curry food and very long walks, all to try and naturally induce labor. Same thing on the 9^th, but Lily just did not like that date either. She did drop down during that night, but that’s all.  She was going to choose her own birthday and that was it !! I baked her birthday cake the 7^th, which was the 3^rd one. The other two cakes I had to through away as they got too old. I decided I was not baking another one, and we would just use this one for photos when we sang Happy Birthday to her when she was born.

 

The morning of the 10^th I was so disappointed and cried as this pregnancy just kept going on and on and on …

And then once again the remarks people made, didn’t help. I did not want to get any medical advice. I just wanted to trust my body, and allow nature to take its course. I knew I was the impatient one, and everything was fine, I just had to wait. I was just so sick and tiered of waiting to meet my precious little Lily. I desperately wanted to hold her in my arms. I wasn’t that uncomfortable as I was emotionally drained. It was my own fault for having set expectations. If I hadn’t had my heart set on certain dates and time frames I wouldn’t have been so disappointed. Next time I will have an attitude of not expecting anything. Well, the morning of the 10^th I went for some retail therapy at the mall. I noticed I bit of a discharge which could have been part of my cervix plug being released, but wasn’t sure. After about 2 hours of walking around, I got severe stretching sensations in my groins and went home, as it made me a bit nervous.  During the afternoon I had some lower back pain. But in general I felt OK, and no real signs of labor.  

Her coming so “late” was a real challenge for me to stand strong in my beliefs. Putting all my faith in God and the way He created our bodies to work was difficult. It was as if I was dared by fear to give in, and just run to the worldly way of doing things. And there is nothing wrong with putting your trust in modern medicine, it’s just that I chose not to, and now I was being put to the test. I read this in a book earlier in pregnancy, which really motivated me …

  

By day 12 past my due date, nothing further had progressed. I must say, it started to get to me. Emotionally it was really difficult. The waiting was really horrible. It’s not that I was ever worried or concerned or anything like that. I knew at the right time, Lily would be born normal with no complications. I trusted my body to do the job. I think the problem is with modern science and the fact that a due date expectation is given. If I had no expectation I would never have been so frustrated that the date wasn’t met with a baby. And to make matters worse for me I hoped she would come a bit earlier as it was my second pregnancy and my age (35) being a bit older than normal, and she is a girl. So I hoped for 38 weeks … which put me in this waiting mode for the last 4 weeks !!! I had to keep on telling myself  that I’m not doing anything wrong, it’s just nature taking it’s course.   

As each day passed I just hoped she wouldn’t grow to be a 5kg baby and never be able to come out, or rip me to pieces in the process !!!

I just kept telling myself nature knows best, and she needs to still be inside me, for what ever reason ! I tried everything to try and naturally induce labor again, but with no luck. This little girl just wasn’t going to come until she was ready. OK fine, so I waited !!

Day 15 past my due date, being 42 weeks and one day, it started – yippy !! And this is how it happened.

September 15, 03:00 I woke up and just somehow realized there is BIG WATERS on it’s way to pass through me – I knew one wrong move now, and our bed will be flooded. So instead of getting up as you would normally get up out of bed, I rolled over my tummy but supported my weight with my elbows. As my feet hit the floor the water started flowing, and with knees squeezing together I walked to the toilet as a duck !! When I sat down, a gush of water game out, but it didn’t stop, it just trickled down. I put a towel between my legs and went back to bed. I told JP my water broke, and he just wanted to know if I want him to do something or if he could sleep further. I said, we should try to get a bit more sleep !! But by 05:00 I was too exited and decided to get up. We went to the beach to see the sun rise, and enjoy a cup of hot chocolate – it was awesome !! We also wrote in Lily’s journal. It was a slightly cloudy day.

We got home about 07:00. I sorted out some stuff, and got everything ready, and tidied the house a bit. Got out the scissor, umbilical clamps, cotton wool and towels. My contractions were noticeable but no problem, and I was still dripping water, I went through many pads !!!

I took a bath, and got dressed, and ate a small breakfast.

We then went to the shops in Port Shepstone about 10 min from home to buy some food. We also went to the DVD shop and rented 2 DVD’s incase the labor took long to get going and to keep my mind of things. We got home about 12H00, and I made lunch. My contractions were still very bearable, and I could carry on with everything as normal. We were just faffing around, and getting everything ready to fill the bath. We took it real easy and were very relaxed at home, just doing it our way. 13H00 we filled the bath, and I got in just for fun for 20 min, it was so relaxing, but I could feel how the contractions came to a halt and knew it would slow everything down if I stayed in, so I got out. 

We started watching “He’s just not into you” at around 14H30. The pain got more noticeable, and I had to concentrate getting through each contraction. I was standing on my knees watching the movies, swaying my hips side to side. Any other position was much more painful.  While Abi (my dog) was wondering what was going on.

I monitored my contractions on an internet site (http://www.contractionmaster.com), that keeps log of how long they are and how far apart. I noticed that the contractions were getting closer together and lasting longer. 15H50 - Three quarter through the movie I got back in the water as the pain got more intense, and more difficult to handle. It was wonderful, and the pain is just so easy to bare while in the hot water. But once again the contractions slowed down, and I got out again. 16H20 I went back to the living room and watched the rest of the movie standing this time, and JP massaging my lower back through each contraction. I barley made it through the movie, and at 17H00 got back in the bath.

Imported the bath from USA - www.yourwaterbirth.com

We lit the candles and switched off the lights and put on the compellation of music we made for the birth before the time of all our favorite songs.  This time the contractions did not get any easier and I realized I was now in active labor and probably dilated further than 6cm. I clearly experienced a drowsy state coming over me. (Endorphins are calming and pain-relieving hormones that people produce in response to stress and pain. The level of this natural morphine-like substance may rise toward the end of pregnancy, and then rises steadily and steeply during unmedicated labors. (Most studies have found a sharp drop in endorphin levels with use of epidural or opioid pain medication.) High endorphin levels during labor and birth can produce an altered state of consciousness that helps women flow with the process, even when it is long and arduous. Despite the hard work of labor and birth, a woman with high endorphin levels can feel alert, attentive, and even euphoric as she begins to get to know and care for her baby after birth. Endorphins may play a role in strengthening the mother-infant relationship at this time.) It truly feels like a drug was given to me. I felt drunk. Nature’s pain reliever – endorphins. I read about this, but was surprised when it really happened. There was no turning back, and very little will stop the labor process now. From 17H00 to 20H00 it was just one contraction after the other, each one getting a little more intense. From about 19H00 I started vocalizing my pain with deep grunts and moans. JP kept reminding me to keep the sounds low, as high pitched sounds provoke hysteria. He also reminded me all the time to relax my face and jaw muscles and not to frown, as this forced the body to relax. I concentrated on not letting fear get to me, as when you get scared you release adrenalin, which is bad for the whole birthing process. 

(Adrenaline is the "fight or flight" hormone that humans produce to help ensure survival. Women who feel threatened during labor (for example by fear or severe pain) may produce high levels of adrenaline. Adrenaline can slow labor or stop it altogether. Earlier in human history, this disruption helped birthing women move to a place of greater safety.)

During each contraction he poured warm water over my back and applied pressure. Most of my pain was in my lower back. JP kept telling me I was doing so well and he was very proud of me. He also prayed a lot … shame, I think he was a bit bewildered !!!

I just kept telling myself my body was designed to have a baby, and that I could do it. I focused on the fact that my body grew a perfectly formed baby from a single cell without my help, and could deliver her as well without my help. I just allowed the contractions to flow through me and realized each one was bringing me closer to meeting my precious baby. I tried to relax as much as I could, but the pain was very severe and I had to really focus on not losing it.

 Just after 20H00 everything suddenly changed. The drowsy, and “in a trance” feeling stopped at once and a chemical cocktail was released, making me feel wide awake and very alert. All my senses was enhanced and I could feel the adrenalin rush flow through me, which is normal at this stage of labor. It is administered by the brain as energy for the delivery and it is also transferred to the baby via the placenta as energy to be born and breathe after birth.

I just knew this was it, and she was coming very soon. I stood on my knees. It pain was different than before, almost more bearable.  With each contraction I felt more pressure in the birthing canal and knew the head was coming. I did not have a huge desire to push, and could feel my body was doing the work. I got a bit impatient and started pushing a little bit. I just really wanted it to be over now.  Then I felt the head coming. This was the most amazing part to me. I was so excited and exhilarated. I felt the “ring of fire” I read so much about. It really does burn like hell when the head comes through. I felt a sudden stretch in my perineal tissues, and felt a little tear. (It is now 3 weeks later and it healed perfectly on its own). The head came out and I couldn’t help myself stroking her little head. She was still under water. I think about a minute later the body came sliding through, and I brought her to the surface. JP says it looked like a torpedo, as it happened so fast. She was born 20H30. She weighed 3.4 kg. When she was above the water the umbilical cord was around her neck, and I unwrapped it. She was white and covered in vernix. I brought her to my chest and hugged her. She wasn’t breathing, which was fine as she still got her oxygen through the umbilical cord. I messaged her, and kissed her face all over. I then used a suction Bulb Syringe to suck out the fluid in her nose and mouth and she began breathing naturally and very relaxed. She just looked at us with amazement. I put her to the breast which she suckled a bit. I sat with her in the water for about an hour, and we kept the water very warm.

I was so happy to have her in my arms straight after birth, and having the opportunity to bond from the very first minutes. I read an article on the bonding that takes place in that first hour between mommy and baby. The chemicals released prevent “baby blues”, which I can say is true, and promotes general bonding. 

 JP clamped the cord and then cut it. He took her and wrapped her. We did not want to bath her, as the vernix is a natural moisturizer for their very delicate skin. Most of it disappeared into the skin within a day or so. What was amazing to me was the aroma of the vernix. It smelled like perfume. I took some from out the wrinkles in her neck, and used it as lip ice, I have never felt my lips to be so nourished, with a flavor out of heaven. It’s like favored Vaseline.

 I got out the bath, and went to sit on the toilet, waiting for the placenta to come out. About an hour and a half after the birth the placenta came out with a light push. We took it out of the toilet and put it in a bucket. It did have tear in, and it was not in one perfect piece. But three weeks later, I have had no problems. My bleeding stopped all together about 10 days after the birth. I had little blood clots also coming out the 1^st ten days, and believe my body was cleansing my uterus naturally. JP buried the placenta the next day.

I got dressed in my new pajamas and got into bed, and JP gave me my baby and we tried to breastfeed again. Lily fell asleep in my arms. I was exhausted but overwhelmed with joy and so proud of my beautiful little girl. We phoned Justin, my 16 year old son and my dad with the news, and I sent a sms to all my close friends. JP brought me a cup of tea and a slice of toast. I then fell asleep with Lily next to me.

Giving birth at home, alone with only JP was an awesome experience. As a woman I have never done anything so rewarding and empowering. It is an experience I loved going through on my own, purely relying on instinct to guide me.  Just allowing nature to take its course, and just going with the flow. The power that flows through you in labor is very intense, and scary in a sense. It is a primal type power we don’t experience in this modern day era. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to do it this way, and experienced it in its purest and most beautiful natural form. I will carry this experience in my heart forever. It completed me as a woman and mother. It is something Lily and I did together as a mother daughter team with no interference, and I am so proud of us.   

Lily Lois Viljoen
Born 15 September 2009, 20H30
Weight 3.4kg