Emma's birth

A pregnancy after a miscarriage is challenging. I loved being healthy and pregnant but I also wanted it over as quickly as possible. I wanted to hold my baby in my arms and know she’s here safe. So I really rushed through this pregnancy by keeping very busy and out and about daily with the kids just to pass time. I was never scared to bond with this baby and felt an amazing connection with her since even before conception.

From before her conception we felt baby would be a girl and at 11 weeks the sonar confirmed it, we were super excited !!!  At 16 weeks I was told I have partial placenta previa, which means a part of my placenta was covering my cervix. I visualized that the placenta would move away and did some positive confessions that it will move together with lots of prayers, and by 36 weeks it was not covering the placenta anymore, praise God !! With a low laying placenta I was preparing for more than usual blood loss during birth, by making an herbal mix to add to the water as soon as baby was born.

Besides for a few 4D sonars I never saw a Dr during my pregnancy and was planning an unassisted homebirth as with my previous 3 births. I had a very good and easy pregnancy and felt confident to have my baby at home.

Early in my pregnancy I wrote out a birth plan, something I recommend doing in the first trimester, cause by the last few weeks you don’t care how they come out you just want them out. I imagined my birth at night before I fell asleep and amazingly it unfolded very close to the plan. I also made a poster with pictures and notes of how I wanted my birth space to look like.

So by 40 weeks my living room was transformed into my very festive birthing space with bunting, lanterns and candles. Powerful words like; open, breath, enjoy, faith, trust, love and relax were stuck on wall together with birth photos of my 3 previous births. Emma’s first outfit together with scale, scissor and floss to tie the cord and suction bulb was set aside.  There was enough wood for the fire. The video and camera was in place. And the birthing bath was blown up and ready. The day before the birth we baked a cake for Emma’s birth day !!

Two weeks before Emma’s birth I was very uncomfortable and thought her birth could start any day. But she waited till 40 weeks and 4 days before she was ready to make her entrance. Monday morning, 13 Julie, 2 am my water broke. I rushed to the loo. I was thrilled that things were finally starting to happen, and happy to know I would probably hold my little Emma in my arms sometime that day.  I got back into bed hoping to get some more sleep. I started having light irregular contractions. Around 4am I decided to get up and woke JP. We went to the living room and made a nice fire. JP brought the birthing bath into the living room. I felt a bit anxious and decided to fill the bath just incase … I put the slow cooker on as I use the hot water, infused with Clary Sage,  for pain relief. I just dip a big cloth nappy in the hot water and put on my back or tummy.

I really thought Emma would be born before lunch time, but yeah, she was taking things slow. By 9am all the contractions stopped and I felt fine. By 10am I was bored. JP and I wanted to go out for breakfast, but the kids just didn’t want to leave the house. I had to bribe them with ice cream at Papachinos to get them to go out. So we went to Papachinos for ice cream and breakfast. It was fun, and we loved spending the time together as a family awaiting Emma’s birth that day. I was a bit uncomfortable with a lot of pressure on my cervix but no contractions. After lunch time we went home.

 I gave the kids their special gift boxes filled with arty crafty stuff and some toys that we’ve been collecting for Emma’s birth day. They got busy with all the goodies. I made a light lunch and faffed around the house. During the afternoon light contractions started to build up again. I was very pleased.

At 4pm we filled the bath with hot water again, and we all got in for fun. It was a beautiful sunny, but cold winter afternoon.

Just after 5pm Ruby got a bit difficult, I think she was a bit overwhelmed by all the excitement and JP made her tea and put her down to sleep. I was putting the Clary Sage cloth on my tummy with most of the contractions. They started getting very uncomfortable but still manageable. I was really just enjoying it all. Lily and Lexi were super good, entertaining themselves.

At 5:30 we topped up the bath with hot water, as I needed to get in cause by now I struggled through the contractions.

I got into the birthing bath at 6pm. I was surprised at the intensity of the contractions; I had to really focus on getting through them now. But when a contraction was over I was totally pain free and relaxed talking to the kids.

From 6:30 to 7:00 was just the most insane pain ever, I couldn’t belief it was this sore. Contractions right on top of each other and pain in my tummy as well as back and for a first time in my hips. It felt like my hips were on fire.  I moaned and groaned through each contraction. I loved some of the yearning I made during the last few contractions, it was  beautiful, the same sounds that got her in me …It is of my opinion that babies are born peacefully and “easy” when its in a similar atmosphere that babies are generally created in. In a atmosphere of love, safety, support and privacy; soft light, warmth and gentle sounds if any; using similar body movements, vocal expressions and visualization … the same acts of LOVE ! It was so intense, more than any of my other births.  The process took me right into the primal part of my being where I found the strength to get through it. I was created to be able to give birth and I just trusted my body to do it. And I just did it. I got really loud during the last few contractions. This quote sums up how I feel regarding the pain of birth :

There is a secret in our culture, and it’s not that birth is painful. It’s that women are strong.” ~ Laura Stavoe Harm

With the previous 3 births I always got to a stage right before the actual birth part where I felt the contractions almost stopped and I got an uncontrollable urge to push. This time I was still having full on contractions but felt her head in the birthing canal and I decided to push ready or not. I was just not prepared to wait any longer. I couldn’t bare another contraction, and I guess I was about 10 or so contractions away from being 100% ready to push her out. It wasn’t really a big deal, it just meant I had to really put in some forced effort to push her out, instead of my body doing all the work if you wait till the urge to push. I really recommend waiting till that feeling of wanting to push more than anything else, but yeah, that was a decision I made on the spot. I have an idea I was maybe not fully dilated so it took some force getting a 3.8kg out, and I think I bruised my cervix a bit. 

Unlike the previous 3 births Emma took a bit longer to come out where the other 3 were out seconds after the head was out.

When Emma’s head was out I told the girls to look as she would be here soon. They couldn’t see the head so Lily got a touch to shine some light on the subject. I was squatting. Oh and she was thrilled to see the head. A few minutes later the body came out and I  held her on my chest.

I was soooooooooo relieved to have her in my arms and out my body. I was a bit bewildered and surprised from the last half hour’s pain. Until I looked at the video I was under the impression that half an hour was a few hours.

Emma was covered in vernix and super slippery. She looked pale covered in this luxurious heavenly body lotion. Not only is vernix  a great moisturizer, it also contains anti-infective properties. Vernix has immunological benefits that help protect a newborn baby from infection, and its moisturizing properties help keep their delicate skin from being dry and flaky. For this reason I delay bathing my babies allowing vernix to be absorbed into the skin. There is another little known fact about vernix. It has a distinctive smell, different and unique with each baby. It’s the sweetest smell in the world, totally addictive !

I was having very painful after pains until the placenta was birthed. But I still had pains for a few days after the birth. About an hour after the birth the cord was white and not pulsing at all which means Emma got all of her remaining 40-50%  blood supply that babies only get once they are born because they don’t need it inside. A crucial amount of blood filled with antibodies and iron supply. This process can take at least 20 minutes and the cord needs to stay in tact to transport this blood to the baby. We cut the cord and JP took Emma and went to sit on couch with Lily and Lexi admiring their new sister. He also weighed her in my owl scarf; she was 3.8kg to my surprise.  I birthed the placenta and showed it to the girls with a lesson on the function of this amazing temporary organ. I got out the birthing bath and got dressed in cozy PJ’s. I took my beautiful little angel and snuggled with her on the couch.

She cried a lot after birth, she struggled to latch and with my history of a breast reduction I gave her a bottle. She was so happy to get some food and devoured it. This little munchkin came out starving and was very happy after a good feed.

At this stage Ruby woke up and came to meet her sister. We were all tired but so happy our Emma was here. JP took the girls to bed in our family bedroom, and I went to sleep with Emma in the baby room.

The next morning we woke up excited and sang happy birth day to Emma as we were just too tired to do it after her birth. And we all had cake and tea for breakfast from her yummy bday cake.

As with all my births this was such an empowering experience. There are no words on earth to express what happens to a woman when life is born through her. It is the most super natural experiences of my life. I absolutely love giving birth.